When I pulled up, they were near our mailboxes and our mail carrier was working through the mail. I jokingly asked, “Are these your goats?”
That day, I was working remotely but I did go into the office for a meeting and to drop off some things in my new office. After a lunchtime errand, I returned to the house, ready to eat lunch and get back to work. But when I pulled up, there were three goats on the sidewalk. I live in the middle of town. Seeing deer is more common than seeing goats.
When I pulled up, they were near our mailboxes and our mail carrier was working through the mail. I jokingly asked, “Are these your goats?”
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Hopefully, I can stick to my intentions and maintain a brief update. I intend to own my story but that will take time. This blog does not exist as a rant space for me; my journal gets that privilege. Here I try to post after necessary introspection. Also, I have a goal of being a writer and don’t want to give away my material for free.
First and foremost, my grand trip WWOOFing is no longer happening this year - and possibly ever. I need to post this news for two reasons: to explain to my donors why their funds are being returned and to assure any potential employers that I no longer have plans to leave for Alaska and Hawaii. Two days after Easter 2017, I entered an outpatient mental health facility and began going to group therapy. Focusing on self care cost a good deal of money - not to mention effort! With focus and plenty of outside help, I began to see issues that I had refused to face. I am by no means cured and every day can be a new can of worms in waiting. The difference being that now I have tools and reach out to my supports more readily. Professionally, I am steering my focus toward two avenues. SWF in search of:
I want adventure and I believe that can come in a variety of ways. However, I found it is not working a “comfortable” corporate accounting job and traveling on the weekends. Starting my final week at work has finally brought my reality home. Only 7 days until I leave the Southeast for the Northwest, Alabama for Oregon.
As September 1 approaches, this goodbye seems more and more impossible. I can sense myself pulling away from people, trying to lessen the blow my absence may have. Yet, I’m torn because I know I should be spending more time with those I love. Especially since I don’t know when I’ll see them again. I act tough and, at times, probably seem cold-hearted. I brush everything off like it doesn’t affect me. Except it does. My brain reminds me all the time of what and who I am leaving. But I can’t let myself think about it because I’ll break down. I’ll get emotional, which is something I refuse to do when I can help it. If I think about how many people I’m leaving, people who love me and want me around, I don’t want to leave. |
AuthorAshton Varner: Class Clown. Lover of Food. Adventurer. Archives
May 2024
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