First, I thought AmeriCorps VISTA might be my ticket to the islands. But it ended up being a fully-benefited position with the county!
Second, I did not move here from the place I thought I would: Portland, Oregon.
In April, the world at large as well as personally was up in the air. I felt wholly ungrounded, which has happened in the past. But this time, I knew my resources well and I called them in. I stayed vigilant about my medication, started a new hobby (cross-stitching), did (a little) online shopping, and reached out to family and friends for help. However, my anxiety continued to grow until I asked myself: Why continue to struggle in Fairbanks when I could go home, see my parents and brother, live in a stable place and spend time with Otzi and the other fur babies? I made the decision to go home and recharge. I am so happy I did. It’s a big deal for me to want to go home. I can’t remember ever wanting to go home that badly.
It absolutely was the recharge I needed.
The last 2 weeks have been weird. But so necessary.
Indigenous folks throughout America have a history of pandemics brought to their land by white folks. I didn’t want to be the asshole who brought it here. The professional position I will be in aims to help the community and the best way to start is by listening. So I started reading Kauai’s newspaper while I was still in Alabama.
The island is serious about this pandemic and so am I.
It’s been hard. There are the obvious struggles of self-isolation/quarantine. For me in this instance, there’s a time difference issue as well. The closest US time zone from here is Alaska and even that’s a 2-hour difference. Y’all know I’m not good at math. By the time, I’ve exhausted my tasks, it’s way too late to call home – a 5-hour difference.
Distractions have come in the form of:
- My Fairbanks VISTA job - Unpacking
- Making cards - Cross-stitching
- Reading the paper - Writing
- Phone calls - Video chats
Groceries came from:
- Instacart - Farmer’s Market delivery - Dry goods I shipped
- A beer run by a new friend I made through an old friend
This is quite opposite of how I normally jump into my community.
I want a library card.
I want to go on a run.
I want to explore my neighborhood by bike.
Does the park have a basketball hoop?
Also, it’s freaking Hawai’i – I want to go to the beach. I saw the water from the plane but that’s it… for 14 days!
It’s not what I imagined but it’s been worth it. To know I did right by my community, that I kept them safe by acknowledging that I could be the danger.
For someone who needs to stay busy, this was a hard lesson to learn.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is stay still. Sometimes it’s the right thing.